Are you in love with your business? What happens if you start to fall out of love with it? If you compare your relationship with your business to a partnership or a friendship you might see that:
You started your business because you really liked...no...probably loved the idea and dream. It fulfilled your need for significance and contribution, you were super passionate about it, it would meet your financial needs and also give you a sense of autonomy and freedom.
Fast forward a couple of years and you might find yourself dreading having to show up for your business. The passion is gone, you generally feel "meh". Then a bit of anxiety and panic show up because you start thinking:
"I shouldn't feel like this"
"I need to get it together and get back on track"
"What is wrong with me? I have worked hard to get to this place"
But if you take a few steps back and put it in perspective you realize that these ups and downs are natural in any relationship. The honeymoon period is glorious. Everything is sparkly and exciting. You can't wait to jump out of bed in the morning.
After a few years together a relationship can become routine and predictable. You know what to expect. The passion ebbs. You still love the relationship, but sometimes you don't like it. All totally natural and part of being in long term relationship.
Accept that there will be days in your business when you won't be on fire about it. Give yourself some downtime and space away from your business, some time to stop thinking about it. Go and do something completely different and then come back to it.
(If you come back to it and the feelings persist it might be time to change things up. Your business might be ready for something new, a challenge. Relationships change, the people in them change. And so it is with our relationship to our businesses. Ask yourself what your business might need? What might make it better or more fun?)
Your business is your creation. When we create something we have a responsibility to it. Do you have realistic expectations of your business, or are you asking too much of it? You wouldn't expect a child to be able to do an adult task, and you have to think of your business the same way. Ask yourself:
What am I expecting of my business and are my expectations realistic? If the expectations and goals are too high for the stage the business is at you will feel resentful, irritated and tired. (Hint: reset your goals and expectations for your business based on your answers to this question.)
You won't be in love with your work and business everyday. There will be days when you dread or even hate it. If you are currently going through a period of dreading your business
I came to the proverbial life crossroads in my 40’s.
My Mom had passed away unexpectedly, and my world started shifting. At the time I was a wife and a Mom (to 2 teenage daughters), had great friends and lived in a beautiful place but something started to change.
For me, work had become my friend at an early age; a way to have some pocket money in a family that didn’t have much and a way to feel good about myself. Work and a driving need for external accomplishment became my steady companions. Finance and administration were the route I took into the work world, and when I became a mother, I started a small bookkeeping practice from my home.
But in 2008 I started looking for something different. The work I had chosen was beginning to feel lackluster. I was looking for something that would fill my heart and feel purposeful in a different way.
I learned about coaching when I was researching continuing education. I didn’t really know what I was looking for but what I read about life coaching really spoke to me. I jumped in! I took my first training in 2008 in holistic life coaching. It was a perfect blend for me, an approach that incorporates body, mind and spirit…a recipe for a
Working in the field of coaching speaks to my heart and my nature. I can help guide and inspire others to see something different for themselves, to choose what’s best for them, and empower them to keep moving towards what they desire and dream of. And it is not one sided---the people I work with always teach me something about myself and about life. I am so grateful for the relationships and connections I have been blessed to make working in the field of coaching.
There have been lots of ups and downs on this journey of self employment as a coach too. I have tried to leave coaching behind many times because I felt like it was too hard. (BTW, self employment is hard and often not what we think it will be when we start out with those dreams of independence twinkling in our eyes)
What I have come to understand is that I, like you, have a gift, talent or service that wants to be shared with the world. If I can help and serve others to be in harmony with themselves, help them to know who they are, what they want and figure out ways to get there, why would I not do it? Ask yourself the same question when you are doubting yourself or wavering on the cliff of quitting.
When we come to those life crossroads we all have a choice. We can carry on down the same path and make the best of it or we can take a different route. When our heart starts to call for something different, we can be brave and answer the call. Change is not easy, it’s not a smooth sail from one place to another, but we all have access to resources (external and internal) and the strength to see the journey through.
What have you learned at the crossroads? (Leave a comment or an insight below.)
And thank you for reading a bit of my story today!
May your journey be fulfilling, free and joy-full!
Mindfulness and intention are powerful partners, and when used together to start your day they create groundedness, clarity and peace.
Start by committing to a daily practice of solitude with the intention of setting the tone for your day. Find a place and time where you won't be interrupted or tempted to rush yourself off into the days tasks and to-do's. Have a journal at hand to write down anything that comes up.
Mindfulness, intention and reflective solitude are amazing tools that will help you to stay clear about what's most important to you.
Make time for this daily practice and see what difference it makes as you meet each day with the best of who you are!
(thank you to The Coaching Tools Co. for this exercise!)
Tucker Dinnes, Connections Biz Solutions
Coaching, support and help for navigating your business or career with confidence & ease.