How important is goal setting in your life? Goals are great tools when used well. Goals can be misused though. Goals are misused when they are set from a place of should/have to or when we are striving for something that we think will make us feel more worthy and successful...once we get there.
Self Acceptance and Goals
Have you ever felt confused by the thought that if you just accept yourself the way you are that you would then be "letting yourself off too easy" and therefore wouldn't be able to achieve what you want? That you have to kick your own ass and punish yourself all the way to success?
I don't believe in that way of doing things. I think that we should start with developing self acceptance and from that place...set our goals.
We need self acceptance to set goals.
Self acceptance is the foundation that a solid and enjoyable life is built on.
Self acceptance allows us to have high standards of excellence without the heaviness of perfectionism.
If you are going to be a success, then you will need goals. To FEEL like a success you will need to have love and acceptance of your self the way you are. You will have to learn to treat your self as a success. This means not rejecting your self. This means that to be a real success, and feel like a success, that you will have to get rid of any self judgments.
Without self acceptance you can do great things and still be left feeling "unsuccessful". The self judgements rise above what we have achieved, often niggling at us with thoughts of not enough, it could have been better, I need more, etc;
But when we set goals from a foundation of self acceptance we can create incredible results that give us a sense of achievement, happiness and success. The outcome of starting with self acceptance is often a mindset that becomes truly positive and feels lighter, a mindset that sees more possibilities, and can more readily accept whatever results are achieved AND keep moving in the direction of the goal.
It's possible to accept and love yourself and still be committed to growth and your goals. Accepting yourself as you are today doesn't mean you will lose the motivation to change or improve, in fact I believe it will make you even more aware and effective. What are your thoughts on success, self acceptance and goals?
I've spoken with many people who say they just don't have enough time in a day to accomplish what they would like to get done. If this sounds familiar you are not alone. So many of us cram our days and minds with a list of shoulds, hope to's, and obligations to others that it is no wonder we feel like we don't have near enough time.
If we all have the same number of hours in a day, why do some people seem to be able to get things done, and others end their days feeling run off their feet and disappointed that they were not able to check off all the boxes on their to-do list?
While there can be many reasons why a person might feel like there are not enough hours in day, there are some factors that are probably at play: not honoring ourselves or our time, a lack of good boundaries and unrealistic expectations of ourselves.
When was the last time you took a look at your desires, obligations and commitments? Most of us take on and expect so much of ourselves. We say yes before really considering how adding one more thing to our list of obligations will effect us. We don't stop to consider that maybe we have set up unrealistic expectations of ourselves. We don't consider that we have limited energy and that we need to refill in order to keep going and be effective.
If you are serious about changing how you think about time, some sleuthing is required. If you feel like you are constantly run off your feet you can choose to investigate your patterns. What do you see yourself doing that does not honor yourself and your time? Do you have good healthy boundaries around your time or do you often let other people's needs infringe upon your plans and goals?
These questions will help you to start thinking about time and how you experience it:
What about you? Has this post inspired you or raised a question? Leave a comment!
Are you in love with your business? What happens if you start to fall out of love with it? If you compare your relationship with your business to a partnership or a friendship you might see that:
You started your business because you really liked...no...probably loved the idea and dream. It fulfilled your need for significance and contribution, you were super passionate about it, it would meet your financial needs and also give you a sense of autonomy and freedom.
Fast forward a couple of years and you might find yourself dreading having to show up for your business. The passion is gone, you generally feel "meh". Then a bit of anxiety and panic show up because you start thinking:
"I shouldn't feel like this"
"I need to get it together and get back on track"
"What is wrong with me? I have worked hard to get to this place"
But if you take a few steps back and put it in perspective you realize that these ups and downs are natural in any relationship. The honeymoon period is glorious. Everything is sparkly and exciting. You can't wait to jump out of bed in the morning.
After a few years together a relationship can become routine and predictable. You know what to expect. The passion ebbs. You still love the relationship, but sometimes you don't like it. All totally natural and part of being in long term relationship.
Accept that there will be days in your business when you won't be on fire about it. Give yourself some downtime and space away from your business, some time to stop thinking about it. Go and do something completely different and then come back to it.
(If you come back to it and the feelings persist it might be time to change things up. Your business might be ready for something new, a challenge. Relationships change, the people in them change. And so it is with our relationship to our businesses. Ask yourself what your business might need? What might make it better or more fun?)
Your business is your creation. When we create something we have a responsibility to it. Do you have realistic expectations of your business, or are you asking too much of it? You wouldn't expect a child to be able to do an adult task, and you have to think of your business the same way. Ask yourself:
What am I expecting of my business and are my expectations realistic? If the expectations and goals are too high for the stage the business is at you will feel resentful, irritated and tired. (Hint: reset your goals and expectations for your business based on your answers to this question.)
You won't be in love with your work and business everyday. There will be days when you dread or even hate it. If you are currently going through a period of dreading your business