Building your business can feel like a lot of "yeses". A sense of urgency and a "more is better" approach can take over. You feel that saying no to a possible opportunity, or not squeezing in just one more meeting with a potential customer, or not showing up for that extra networking event could be detrimental to your business. Is that true, or are there other choices? Is there a better and more meaningful balance?
What I am getting at is summed up nicely in this quote from Present over Perfect, by Shauna Niequest:
You can’t have yes without no. Another way to say it: if you’re not careful with your “yeses”, you start to say no to some very important things without even realizing it. In my rampant yes-yes-yes-ing, I said no, without intending to:
How often have you said yes to something or someone’s request and then immediately felt regret or resentment?
I don’t know how many times I said yes to something or someone without thinking or checking in with myself first and then complained about it or ruminated on “ugh…what I was thinking”.
I have said yes out of a sense of obligation or thinking I was being “nice.” I have said yes because somehow, I thought that if I didn’t take care of something, no one else could or would. I said yes because I felt like it was expected of me or it was the polite thing to do.
I did this until I decided to stop it. I don’t remember the exact moment that I decided to have a closer look at why I was saying yes when I really wanted to say no. I guess it came about organically, my soul voice got a little louder. I wasn’t afraid of being judged or rejected anymore. The need to be honest and honor what I needed became stronger then the urge to say yes.
I came to a place where I knew that there were other qualities of life and ways to use my time/energy that were more important for me. I knew that every time I said yes without carefully considering what I was doing, it made me unhappy and resentful.
To carry on with business/work, to be present, I need to incorporate space to slow down, to rest, to connect. When I intentionally do this, I make better decisions. I am much more effective and happy. I remember that my self-worth isn’t dependent on how much I do for others, or how successful I am at something, and that there isn't a reward for the person who can stretch themselves out the thinnest. It is all about finding the right balance between my yes and my no.
Do you find yourself saying Yes when you would rather say No? What can you do to find the right balance between your yes and your no?
Every day in your life you are presented with choices. If you don’t like them, you can create a new ones. Sure, it may seem that your options are limited by finances, family, employment or education, but remember this…
YOU are a powerful, intelligent, creative human being
And the really fun part is this…you aren’t doing it alone. You are writing your story with the help of everyone around you. Your friends, family, neighbors and coworkers give you fresh choices and story prompts every day.
When you activate your inner author, other people’s choices become inspirations for your own. Obstacles become hurdles to leap over and bounce points to send your adventure in exciting new directions. Opportunities create new paths to explore. Every moment is a chance to make your next move and design your story and craft the adventures you want to live.
Ask yourself, who are the characters in your story, and what role or influence do they play in your life? Who do you spend your time with? How do you spend your time? What is your lifestyle? What do you do that brings you ultimate fulfillment in your life?
It’s your story, you get to design it. And the sky is the limit.
What will you write into your story today?
The world is splitting apart, and young Eep is running toward a new, adventurous life. Every step she takes is perilous and fraught with danger as the earth crumbles all around her. Behind her is the dark cave she’s always called home. Ahead of her is tropical beach that’s just out of reach. Her father shouts, “Don’t go! It’s too dangerous! Listen to your fears!” Meanwhile her new friend, Guy, runs alongside her, telling her, “Keep going. I believe in you. You can do this.”
This, of course, simply paraphrases a scene from the children’s movie “The Croods,” but it holds profound truth for us all.
Inside your mind lives the voice of a protective authority figure who wants you to play it safe and also an adventurous champion who wants you to go for it! The tug of war between these two voices creates confusion, doubt and inner conflict.
Finding a way to push through your fears, to believe in yourself and your goals/dreams will keep you moving forward.
Here are 3 tricks you can use right now to become a successful, forward-thinking adventurer:
Choose To Be Successful
Whatever dream you want to pursue, you have to choose it first.Recognize that you have a choice in all things, and choose the option that feels the most like success…then pour every ounce of energy you have into it.
Take Bold Action
Just go. Start running. Have a plan. Move boldly in the direction of your dreams, whatever that means to you. It will feel scary at times, but with a solid plan in hand, you will get there.
Turn A Deaf Ear to Discouragement
Is there someone in your life that is great at providing you with unneeded, discouraging advice? Don’t let others discourage you or cause you to doubt yourself. Don’t listen.
Stay focused on your goal and listen to your own inner wisdom.
You can achieve success. To do so, though, you must overpower your inner critic and keep moving forward. I promise, the rewards will far outweigh the risks.
How will you move forward TODAY?