Building your business can feel like a lot of "yeses". A sense of urgency and a "more is better" approach can take over. You feel that saying no to a possible opportunity, or not squeezing in just one more meeting with a potential customer, or not showing up for that extra networking event could be detrimental to your business. Is that true, or are there other choices? Is there a better and more meaningful balance?
What I am getting at is summed up nicely in this quote from Present over Perfect, by Shauna Niequest:
You can’t have yes without no. Another way to say it: if you’re not careful with your “yeses”, you start to say no to some very important things without even realizing it. In my rampant yes-yes-yes-ing, I said no, without intending to:
How often have you said yes to something or someone’s request and then immediately felt regret or resentment?
I don’t know how many times I said yes to something or someone without thinking or checking in with myself first and then complained about it or ruminated on “ugh…what I was thinking”.
I have said yes out of a sense of obligation or thinking I was being “nice.” I have said yes because somehow, I thought that if I didn’t take care of something, no one else could or would. I said yes because I felt like it was expected of me or it was the polite thing to do.
I did this until I decided to stop it. I don’t remember the exact moment that I decided to have a closer look at why I was saying yes when I really wanted to say no. I guess it came about organically, my soul voice got a little louder. I wasn’t afraid of being judged or rejected anymore. The need to be honest and honor what I needed became stronger then the urge to say yes.
I came to a place where I knew that there were other qualities of life and ways to use my time/energy that were more important for me. I knew that every time I said yes without carefully considering what I was doing, it made me unhappy and resentful.
To carry on with business/work, to be present, I need to incorporate space to slow down, to rest, to connect. When I intentionally do this, I make better decisions. I am much more effective and happy. I remember that my self-worth isn’t dependent on how much I do for others, or how successful I am at something, and that there isn't a reward for the person who can stretch themselves out the thinnest. It is all about finding the right balance between my yes and my no.
Do you find yourself saying Yes when you would rather say No? What can you do to find the right balance between your yes and your no?